Through what I would call "the struggle" I realised that none of us in the family ever thought of giving up on our mother. I don't know, we just trusted that she had everything under control and we never ever thought of blaming her for anything. It is that moment of realisation that showed me that we have no idea how much that probably meant to her. I didn't even think that perhaps she could have done with a little encouragement. To be honest, I don't remember really asking how she was most of the time. I just assumed we were both being affected by the same cause but never did I think to just talk to her and spend time with her. From her side I knew she understood. All she was doing was taking care of an angry son who didn't understand much about mum and dad's tragic argument that caused division. When I look back at that I think wow.... how selfish one can get when they are in trouble or in a struggle. Just like that I could almost feel God just saying "Son, how do you think I feel when my children don't believe in me?" Let's face it, we don't believe in God as much as we claim we do. Before you even argue that allegation please take a minute to think about how many times you have said the words "God why?", and now proceed with the argument. Doesn't make sense does it ?
I remember reading Numbers 11 where the Israelites were on their journey to the promised land and they started complaining about how hungry they were and why they were even taken out of Egypt only to die in the wilderness. This angered God and caused Him to promise to feed them meat for a whole month. At that even Moses doubted God because it seemed like an impossible task to just feed people out of nowhere. This really angered God to the point where He said “Is the Lord’s arm too short? Now you will see whether or not what I say will come true for you.” (verse 23). When you first read this you think "wow God gets angry so much that He always has to prove Himself no matter what". However, when you read it again you will see that God was hurt. He honestly just couldn't catch a break with them. Despite His efforts to take them out of the land from which they were enslaved, they still didn't trust in what He had to say. Instead they complained to Him and to Moses, Started thinking about the temporary goodness they had in Egypt and as if that wasn't bad enough, they replaced The almighty GOD!!! with a golden calf....... which they made.
This verse was brought to mind. It says "And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force" (Matthew 11:12 KJV). Upon reading that I think of verses like "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28 KJV, and I just think to myself "what kind of God is constantly fighting wars up UNTIL THIS DAY!! and still has time to listen to our troubles and cries". Make no mistake I know God is Omnipresent and can do all things but all in all it yet strikes me concerning where we find the audacity to question Him. You know there are still people out there with the question " If God is great then why did He let my mother die and why are children starving in Africa??" Its sad that we don't see the bigger picture nor understand verses like "blessed are the poor". I can imagine if I didn't believe in my mother and constantly doubted her and maybe even left her house. I probably wouldn't even have half the things I have now but would instead be enslaved in my Egyptian mind.
I guess the sad thing about all of this is we just assume that God is God and we take out the Human inside of Him. No one really Goes to God and says " How are you God, how are your battles going in our home I hope our enemy doesn't think he yet stands a chance?". Why? "how selfish one can get when they are in trouble or in a struggle". We live in a world that is hell bent on proving God's existence, which is fine. What is NOT fine is that we also now live in a world where Children of GOD to through trials and tribulations and are also now helping in the race of "is God really real?" Finally we also now live in a world that has convinced children of God that we belong here. It is because of that, that we just can't give God a break. Think about that.
God loves you. He is real. He is perfect (the world isnt). He's going through things too. He's able. Sometimes you just have to believe in Him. He wants you to. He can do it without you, but He needs you to be involved. You are a part of the kingdom. An attack on you is an attack on Him, and that should be vice versa..... But that's entirely up to you now. Will you give Him the benefit of the "No doubt" ??
And that's not Omni
God Bless you for reading.
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